Sunday, October 23, 2016

Dear Spencer

Monica is a great friend, coworker, and mentor to me. She is so passionate about her job and her family and I admire her deeply. When we lost Sadie she spoke with me about the loss of her two angel babies Spencer and Matthew. Spencer returned to Heaven at 32 weeks, and Matthew at 18 weeks. This sweet letter is to Spencer. What an amazing strength Monica has to know that even though she doesn't get to raise Spencer and Matthew right now, she will one day get that opportunity. Thank you so much Monica for sharing your sweet faith and your angel babies with us!

Dear Spencer,
Although you were to be my 7 th child you were my first child with your father, Edd Harris. We were married in 2003 then your dad was deployed 6 months later.  When he returned in November of 2005 we were excited to have a child together. Your dad was so excited when he found out we were having a baby. You were due October 11, 2006. The six other children were so excited for you to be born. We were hoping for another boy since we already had five daughters.

I had a check up in July then our family went on a trip to Disneyland. We bought you a tigger and pooh bear at Disneyland and couldn't wait to give them to you. August 16th I had a checkup scheduled. Your dad was at Annual military training and the six other children were with their dad on visitation. I went to my appointment alone. The nurse came in and tried to find your heartbeat but couldn't. The doctor came in and he also couldn't find your heartbeat. He sent me to the hospital for an ultrasound. Your dad called on my walk from the dr office to the hospital. I told him what was happening. He said he'd try and get permission to come home. I really don't remember much after that. Mostly the Dr coming and confirming the ultrasound result and that I would need to come back in the morning to deliver you. Your dad was able to make it back home.

We went to the hospital the next morning and the doctor induced labor. I was so sad that you were gone.  I was going to leave the hospital without you. I had a strong testimony of the resurrection and eternal families , so I knew I would see you again someday. It was still hard to leave you there and leave all my hopes and dreams for your life at the door. You had such the sweet little face and were so tiny. They made some keepsake molds of your hands and feet. We also had pictures taken with you. You were born August 17th, my maternal grandfathers birthday. That day will be etched in my mind forever. A few days later we had a small ceremony at the babyland cemetery. I will never forget how sweet and tender your dad looked as he carried you in your casket to your final resting place. You are my perfect child and you were sent so I could be a better person and remain worthy so I can raise you during the millennial reign of our king.

Although these memories have faded over time I will never forget the day you were born. It's been 10 years and I still get a tear in my eye and a twinge in my heart when I think of you. I then think of the day when you will be resurrected. I will be the first one to arrive at your graveside and will take you in my arms and raise you. I will then be able to fulfill all the hopes and dreams I had for you. Until then my son , sleep well. You are my angel and the light of my life. I love you tons and tons. 


Letters for Sadie is letters to my little girl that I had to say goodbye to way to soon. The letters are my thoughts and feelings about things I have felt and experienced during this time. The blog is open to anybody that wants to send a letter or thoughts to an angel baby or loved one. Please feel free to contribute in anyway possible. 

I hope these letters will be well received by you, our readers. If anyone has questions or would like to submit a letter to their angel baby, please email All submitted letters are unedited to preserve the submitters wording and emotion.

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